How to know if you should stay or go

There’s no such thing as a relationship without challenges. However, some stumbling blocks are merely garden-variety annoyances, while others are bona fide deal-breakers. Here is a Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can — and Should — Be Saved.

1. Consider how you and your partner resolve conflicts
In an unhealthy relationship (i.e., one that really isn’t working), when you hit those periods of conflict, you’ll notice either right away or soon enough that you are not a team struggling for mutual well-being. Unsure about whether you and your partner are have an unhealthy conflict resolution approach? When you argue, does it become about who can win and/or who can hurt the other more effectively, or does one (or both) of you become explosive or cruel? Is it characterized by your partner thinking almost exclusively about what is good for him or her, not about what’s good for you or the relationship? If any of these statements ring true for you, it’s probably a wise decision to get out.

2. Recognize the difference between irritating habits and deal-breakers
Some of the most troubling and potentially deal-breaking problems one can face with a partner are immaturity, addiction, unresolved or untreated mental health issues (including the after-effects of trauma, depression and personality disorders) and abusiveness. Each one of these is a big ticket item, meaning it will likely cost you a great deal of emotional energy and time to be in a relationship with your partner and one of these issues. You may decide that, no matter how much you love your partner, you don’t want to put so much energy into dealing with anything so consuming.

3. Think about the consequences of ending the relationship
When debating whether to leave or stay, first considering whether you’ve ever felt frightened of your partner. Has this person ever physically attacked you, or made you feel that he or she was on the verge of it? Has your partner ever forced you sexually? Has your partner said anything like, “You’d better not ever try to leave me” or anything similar that suggested he or she wanted you to be afraid of ending things? If your intuition tells you that your partner may have a volatile reaction, that’s a pretty good sign that walking away from your relationship is a good idea.

4. Imagine a life without your partner
When you’re trying to decide whether staying in your relationship will be truly beneficial or not, ask yourself if you have remained true to who you really are during the time you’ve been with your partner, and what your life would look like if you were no longer together. Remember that having love, approval, kindness and appreciation for yourself is at least as important as getting it from someone else; if these feelings are impossible to have while in your current relationship, it’s time to get back into having a loving, supportive connection with yourself.

The Secrets of Happy Couples

What is surprising, experts point out, is that when you ask loving husbands and wives about the key to their devotion, over and over you'll hear the same things, specific habits that mirror these values. Learning these secrets can make your marriage closer too.

They use terms of endearment

Sure, you may find it cloyingly sweet when you overhear other couples talking like 2-year-olds, but endearments are actually a sign of a healthy rapport.

These feelings of intimacy can also come from using a special tone of voice with each other, sharing silly "inside jokes," or pet-naming your spouse's intimate body parts. The point is to connect with some private message system that's meaningful to you alone, as a couple -- not to the outside world.

When the going gets tough, they don't call Mom or Dad

The first task facing all young couples is separating from their families of origin. This doesn't mean you shouldn't go home for the holidays. But if there's a crisis over whether to have a second child or relocate for a new job, or even if there's good news about a big raise or the results of a medical test, the couple should talk about it together first before dialing Mom.

They stay connected to their parents

This doesn't contradict with the above point. You can talk with your mom every day and still be clear about where your attachment to her ends and your love for your mate begins.

Staying connected to parents, siblings, cousins and the like can be excellent for a marriage because it gives a sense of family continuity. It generates positive feelings, especially when you incorporate your spouse into that family. You're sharing that part of you with each other.

They don't nickel-and-dime about chores

It's no secret that most wives continue to do more in the housekeeping and child-rearing departments than their husbands. Still, when partners become double-entry bookkeepers, adding up every dish washed and every diaper changed, they may be headed for trouble.

Most couples think they should strive for a relationship that's 50-50,but the fact is, they should each give 150 percent. In good relationships, couples give everything they can. They don't nickel-and-dime each other, and they respect that each person gives different things.

They give each other gifts

Couples who are deeply connected often give each other presents or write little notes, says Thomas Moore, Ph.D., best-selling author of Care of the Soul. What they're doing is preserving the rituals, and the magic, of their courtship.

The gift should carry no strings. Sarah sometimes comes home from work to find that her husband has prepared a candlelight dinner. But it's not set up to be a prelude to sex.

They never lose their sense of humor

Humor, as many psychotherapists have observed, is the glue that keeps a couple together. When a couple can no longer laugh together, it's a signal that the soul has gone out of their marriage and they are headed for trouble.

But lighthearted couples never mock each other. They instinctively know what is -- and isn't -- fair game.

They take "for better or for worse" seriously

Contented couples encounter their share of life's miseries -- whether it's the car breaking down, a nasty cold or a missed promotion -- but they help each other get through. You don't, for example, hear them say, "How could you let that happen?" when a spouse loses a job. Couples who do well together tend not to do anything that increases their partner's suffering, like become resentful or criticize. In good marriages, people feel safe from the outside world. Each spouse has the feeling, I can count on you, our world is all right.

The Power of Touch

A study at the University of Virginia showed that holding a spouse’s hand can diminish stress set off by a mild electric shock. A total of 16 couples took part; first the wives received the shocks while their brains were monitored via functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

Next, each woman held the hand of a stranger during the shock--this dampened the stress response seen in the brain. Finally, the women held their husbands’ hands during the shock and the fMRIs showed that the reduction in stress was even greater.
The Cuddle Hormone

Women who get the most hugs from their partner have the highest levels of oxytocin, a hormone sometimes called the “cuddle hormone,” University of North Carolina researchers reported.

Oxytocin is believed to play a role in social bonding and has a powerful effect on the cardiovascular systems. In the study, the frequent huggers had lower blood pressure. So there you have it, love is good for almost everything. The only exception: it doesn’t help you lose weight.

Facebook: Surprising Cause of Stress

You love taking a midday break from work and finding out what your pals are up to, but could everyone else's status updates be stressing you out? Maybe, says expert. Social networking, like any relationship, can have an impact on your emotions, adding that online news bites can sometimes, inadvertently, make others feel inadequate.

For instance: the status update from your old friend from high school who announced that she/he's just met her/his soul mate, who's spending time on a two-week Mediterranean cruise, just as you've signed your divorce papers.

Notice how you're feeling when you spend time on Facebook and pay attention to why. If it makes you feel bad, trust your instincts and log off. Call a friend, curl up with a good book, go for a walk-do something that genuinely brings you pleasure."

Happy Couples do stuff together

When that pheromone-crazy feeling of falling in love passes and happy couples no longer spend all day in bed, they look outward. They start businesses, refinish the attic or take up cooking together.

Of all the variables in a relationship -from commitment to communication- the amount of fun couples have together is the strongest factor in determining their overall marital happiness, according to a landmark study by Howard Markman, Ph.D., codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. Time spent playing together, says Dr. Markman, is an "investment in the relationship"; it provides a relaxed intimacy that strengthens the bond between two people.

So even if your life is impossibly frantic, make the time for play. And do all you can to eliminate distractions. Leave the kids with a sitter, ditch the beeper and cell phone. The activity doesn't have to be anything elaborate or costly. Exercising together, browsing in antiques stores, or renting a classic movie can help bring the two of you closer.

Expert tips for calming pre-date jitters

Help is here. Here're some tips on how to overcome this common problem. We’ve rounded up advice from experts who teach people how to stay calm in nerve-wracking situations. Try their tips below for putting your best dating foot forward.

Tip #1: Keep a healthy perspective about what first dates are really for “The first and most important step in overcoming the fear is to put your first date in perspective: this is not an appointment with the dentist or brain surgeon who may inflict pain on you; rather, it is a conversation with another person. The worst thing that can happen is that you won’t connect with the person sitting across from you — it’s hardly the end of the world! Second, think of this date as a two-way process. You are interviewing a potential partner as much as your date is interviewing you. Is there a good fit here? What looks good on the surface or on paper may not be what it appears to be for either party. Investigate whether this person is a good match for you and whether you want to invest a significant part of your life and energy in future dates.”

Tip #2: Breathe deeply while counting silently to calm yourself down “Here is a simple (but amazingly powerful) breathing technique you can easily do to manage stress while sitting in the car or on the train before a date. While breathing through the nose only, inhale to the count of three and exhale to the count of six. It only takes about two or three minutes to experience a noticeable, full-body calming effect. The reason? Deep breathing triggers your parasympathetic nervous system to counteract the ‘fight-or-flight’ response that underlies your jitters and results in shallower breathing. And if, during the date, you feel yourself getting nervous again, ask an open-ended question, like: ‘So, what’s working at a college really like?’ and then put a soft smile on your face while you breathe the shakes away!”

Concentrate on the present moment instead of worrying about the future “Dating is like auditioning — the stakes are high, so nerves will undoubtedly come into play. I would tell daters the same thing I tell my actors: When you get nervous, put your concentration into the present moment instead of the outcome. Every time you start to think about the future — “Will this person ask me out on a second date?” — force yourself to focus on the conversation at hand. You stand a better chance of booking another date if you can let someone see the type of person you really are, and that you’d be easy to get along with. You can’t do that if you’re draining your own energy trying to figure out what your date wants and what the result might be.”

Release pre-date tension by working up a sweat in the gym
“Work out first! You’ll have a positive feeling from all the endorphins, you’ll feel more confident about your appearance, and you’ll have released the tension from your muscles. Or, instead of going right to the date from your office or home, socialize a bit first — either by meeting a friend somewhere or otherwise putting yourself in a situation where you’re turning on your most positive personality for others. Doing this will make you walk into the date already feeling engaged and ‘up.’ Just do not talk about the upcoming date while you’re socializing, because that will put your mind back on the subject... and could make you nervous all over again.”

Put any negative thoughts in writing, then put a positive spin on them before leaving for your date “Divide a sheet of paper in half. On the left side of the page, write down how your critical inner voices or negative thoughts are undermining your self-confidence. Write them down as though you are talking to yourself; for example, ‘Don’t get too excited about this date. He/she is not going to find you attractive enough.’ Next, on the right-hand side of the page, write down a more realistic or congenial statement about yourself. Like, ‘I may not be a supermodel, but I have good features and a sense of humor.’ Decide which of these more positive, realistic statements you will act on before your date begins. They reflect the real you.”

Tip for Couples: How to fight constructively

There's fighting and then there's fighting. When couples start yelling and throwing things, when they dredge up every single complaint they've ever had (or "kitchen-sinking," as marital experts typically call it), you can be sure that they won't be celebrating their silver anniversary together. Studies show that the way couples handle conflict is the most important factor in determining whether or not they stay together, according to experts in relationship study.

Happy couples have learned the art of constructive arguing, whose research has demonstrated that it's possible to predict whether or not a couple will divorce after watching them argue for 10 or 15 minutes. In strong marriages, the partners take control of their disagreements by establishing ground rules. They may, for example, call a mutually agreed-upon time-out if the conflict is escalating and unproductive, agreeing to continue the discussion after a cooling-off period.

They also truly listen to each other and won't prematurely try to solve the problem before they've heard each other out. Above all, no matter how angry they get, they don't resort to name-calling and insults - key danger signs.

The Surprising Health Benefits of Love

Love actually can make us healthier, so much so that if you could bottle it, you would have an incredible wonder drug, a Nobel Prize, the thanks of a grateful population and more money than Bill Gates. If a growing body of research is to be believed, love can lengthen your life, ward off stress, boost your immune system, lower your blood pressure, protect you from colds and flu, blunt your response to pain, hasten wound healing, and lower your risk of dementia in old age.

Studies have shown that health-wise, men are a lot better off married than their still-single pals; their wives are less likely to suffer from depression than their unmarried bridesmaids. Let a little romance into your life, and you’re less likely to end up in a nursing home when you’re old and gray. Love and marriage (or even love without marriage) turns out to be really, really good for us. Here are the main reasons why:

Love Defuses Stress

Unchecked stress can undermine your immune system, leaving you prey to all kinds of physical ills. Some studies have shown that happy couples produce less of the hormone cortisol when they’re stressed. This is a good thing because too much cortisol suppresses the immune system leaving us open to colds, flu and worse. It also prompts the body to store fat around the abdominal organs.

This kind of “visceral fat” is linked to diabetes, heart disease and cancer. Marriage appears to be particularly good for health: rates of diabetes, heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease and other chronic ailments are all lower in married people than in single ones.

Love Heals Wounds

A study at Ohio State University used a device designed to leave little blisters on the arm and to enable doctors to monitor the immune system’s response at the tiny wound sites. The researchers used a study grant to pay 42 married couples $2,000 each to agree to the blistering procedures and then to talk about topics that provoked tension and at another time to discuss topics that engendered supportive behavior. The upshot? The blisters took a day longer to heal after sessions when the couples disagreed than when they discussed something pleasant. The wounds took two days longer to heal when there was high hostility during arguments.
Better Brain Health

The give-and-take of marriage—or living with a partner—helps keep your wits sharp.

Living as a couple in midlife was linked to lower risk for cognitive impairment (unusually poor memory and mental functioning) in a Swedish study, while other research shows socializing, including getting together with friends, belonging to a club, or doing volunteer work also helps keep your brain nimble.

Simple Tips for a Happier Relationship

What's your New Year's resolution for 2012? To exercise more? To be more productive? We bet "a more honest and open relationship" isn't on many of your lists. That's because tons of people put their relationships on autopilot, hoping the kinks will just work themselves out - and then they argue each and every day, and end up resenting each other. The best way to have a happy relationship is to keep working on it, so even if you're not currently in a relationship rut, follow these 12 tips from our staff and you'll keep being happy.

1. Say "please" and "thank you." This shows your partner you appreciate them and keeps you from taking each other for granted.
2. Grab your partner's butt every day (or at least every other day).
3. Kiss every morning!
4. Say "good morning" every morning.
5. Cuddle.
6. Spend at least one night a week with your significant other and family/friends, i.e. don't hole up all by yourselves.
7. Use baby talk/pet names very sparingly. If you overuse these, you could damage your relationship since you won't be able to relate to each other seriously.
8. DO THE DISHES. Set up some type of system for who does them when.
9. Practice listening.
10. Practice honesty, even when it's uncomfortable.

11. If you and your partner are indecisive about where to eat or what movie to watch, play the "5-3-1" game. One person names five choices, the other vetoes two of them, and then the first person eliminates the remaining two. Ta-da, no more "Where you do want to eat?" "I don't care, what do you want to do?" (From 8 Relationship Tricks Happy Couples Use)

12. If you live together, make sure you each still have your own private space where you can retreat to work, think, or partake in bizarre grooming rituals that the other person wouldn't want to see.

Don't skip breakfast!

When you wake up after a long night's rest, your body has gone as much as 12 hours without a meal. That means one thing: You need fuel. More precisely, it means there's probably a shortage of glucose in your bloodstream. If you don't eat breakfast and head out the door with low blood sugar, one organ in particular won't be operating at full speed: your brain, which requires a steady flow of blood sugar to run effectively. And even a mild case of low blood sugar can leave you queasy and jittery. You may also feel less sharp-witted. Studies of school children have shown repeatedly that kids who eat breakfast have better memories and learn more than their classmates who don't.

What's more, blowing off breakfast is a set-up for pigging out later on. "Breakfast is important for keeping your appetite under control the rest of the day," says endocrinologist Suma Dronavalli, MD, of the University of Chicago Medical Center. In other words, skip breakfast and by noontime your groaning stomach will convince you to skip the salad and order a Dagwood-size sandwich, instead. Most people more than compensate for the calories they miss at breakfast by overeating at lunch and dinner - especially foods high in saturated fat, the kind that plugs arteries.

Meanwhile, breakfast skippers are also more likely to snack on junk food between meals. One study found that women who usually nixed breakfast were able to take off four pounds - simply by adding a nutritious meal in the morning. Eat breakfast regularly and you'll not only lose weight, but your blood sugar should shape up, too.

More than three quarters of people who lose weight and keep it off eat breakfast. Sitting down for the morning meal may also make you up to 50 percent less likely to develop insulin resistance, the problem that causes type 2 diabetes.

What happens when you don't have enough sleep?

No one knows for sure why sleep is necessary, but there's no doubt that getting too little throws a wrench into your body's works. For example, studies show that a sleep debt lowers levels of the hormone leptin, which helps keep your appetite under control. Implication: Sleep too little, and there's a good chance you'll be soon overeating. Sleep deprivation also boosts levels of stress hormones, which prompt your body to send more glucose into your bloodstream. Too little sleep also makes your body less sensitive to insulin.

But that's just the beginning. Research shows that sleeping too little shuts down production of certain chemicals in the immune system that defend your body against germs. Shortchange yourself on shut-eye and you may want to have a box of tissues and cough medicine handy: A 2009 study found that people who sleep less than seven hours a night are up to three times more likely to develop a cold.

Other studies show that even modest sleep deprivation - cutting back from your usual eight hours a night to six hours, for instance - can turn up levels of chronic inflammation, which increases the risk for many conditions, including heart attacks, strokes, and osteoporosis.

Then, there are the immediate effects. When the alarm clock blares you out of a deep sleep, you're apt to start the day in a sour mood. As the day passes, you're also likely to feel dull witted and foggy. Some neurologists believe that one purpose of sleep is to give your brain a chance to build and strengthen the wiring between neurons. Studies show that well-rested people learn new information faster and have sharper memories. Short sleep reduces your reaction time, too, making you at risk for car accidents and other mishaps.

While some people can get by on relatively little sleep, most of us need seven to eight hours a night. Experts say one sign that you're getting adequate sleep is that you can wake up on time every day without using an alarm clock.

What happens when I spend the day really angry?

There's nothing wrong with getting angry - it's perfectly natural and healthy to get ticked off now and then. Staying angry is another matter altogether: It's terrible for you. Apart from wrecking your mood and alienating others, fuming all day can make it much harder to manage diabetes. Anger is a form of emotional stress, which causes your body to release adrenaline and other related hormones. One effect of these "stress" hormones is to raise blood sugar. Also, stress may make you indulge in bad habits, such as eating junk food, which can make matters worse.

There's more. Letting your anger boil all day can damage your heart. Do you get irked and annoyed now and then, but you're able to shrug it off? No big deal. But scientists now know that clinging to anger raises blood pressure. While that's not a big surprise, a recent Yale study found that people who tend to let their anger stew also have high levels of a substance called endothelin, which is known to trigger heart attacks by causing plaques in the arteries (clumps of fat, cholesterol, and other gunk) to burst open and form blood clots. Other research has found that intense, sustained anger can actually cause an arrhythmia, or irregular heartbeat, which can stop your ticker from ticking - permanently.

Day-long anger can be toxic, so find a way to let it go. Write down your rage in a journal. If a friend or family member made you mad, tell 'em. Or just go outside and scream - whatever helps you blow off steam.

Foods to help you settle into slumber

Here are some foods that help you sleep: Almonds, oats, pistachios, pumpkin seeds and wheat are all good sources of tryptophan, an amino acid that helps the body produce serotonin and melatonin.

Pair foods that contain tryptophan with complex carbohydrates for even better results.

Complex carbohydrates, such as whole grains help the brain to release insulin, which clears the way for the tryptophan to be absorbed. So, although it sounds more like breakfast, maybe a small bowl of oatmeal sprinkled with almonds would make a nice snack.

Cherries and mangoes contain melatonin, which is thought to induce sleep and now researchers are saying that some red grapes may contain melatonin, too.

Researchers at the University of Wisconsin studied fruit flies and found that potassium might be one of the important elements responsible for sleep.

So, foods like bananas, which contain both tryptophan and potassium may be especially good for sleep and paired with a complex carbohydrate may be even more effective. Try some sliced bananas on whole-wheat toast.

A cup of chamomile tea will help you to relax and de-stress. Chamomile is a flower, so it’s not really tea. Real tea contains caffeine, so you want to avoid that. Just a small cup of herbal tea will do the trick.

Don’t drink too much before bed or you’ll be up during the night to go to the bathroom and that can interfere with your natural sleep cycle.

Eat a light snack or very small meal about one to four hours before bedtime. A meal with carbohydrates will help you to fall asleep more quickly, but can also cause weight gain if you do this on a regular basis.

You also don’t want to eat too close to bedtime because then your body will be busy digesting instead of settling itself into sleep.

And finally, avoid spicy or fatty foods before bedtime. Spices are stimulating and can keep you awake. They may also cause heartburn and interfere with sleep. Fatty foods take longer to digest and will keep your body stimulated when you want it to be relaxed.

People who know how to say "NO" are more productive

It's easy to get distracted or overwhelmed at work. But one of the secrets of highly productive people is that they learn when and how to say "no." For starters, say "no" to whiners, complainers and distracting people.

One way to do that is by wearing headphones, that sends the message that you're busy and it drowns out the noise as well. When it comes time to say "no" to the boss, tread lightly but firmly. You don't have to spell out n-o per se; rather, ask your boss to prioritize what's most important given what's on your plate.

When an employee does that, the boss usually comes to their senses and they get it. You don't want to make your boss the enemy; you want your boss to know you're there for the company, and that you're there for them. If they know that, they're more likely to listen to what you say.

Keep a Flexible to-do List

Making a daily list of to-dos is a great way to stay on top of your work. However, there is one pitfall-it can make you inflexible. "A lot of people feel their day's been wrecked if they have to change their plan, but the most effective people understand that's part of the job," says Vicki Milazzo, author of Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman.

"I always start my day with a plan, but by 9 a.m. I've busted that plan." However, according to Paula Rizzo, a master list-maker and founder of ListProducer.com, it's important to keep some form of a to-do list, no matter how much your day changes. For example, Rizzo begins her days with a master list, which she continually updates throughout the course of the day to note the items that haven't been done or to add tasks as they crop up.

Before leaving work, Rizzo will make a fresh list for the next day. The key, she says, is referencing the changing list throughout the day to keep herself on course. "Just putting a little extra work into it will keep you on track."

Are You A Positive Person?

Some studies have shown that an upbeat attitude about aging adds years. But long-term studies conducted at the Stanford Longevity Center show that emotions, more than attitudes, may be the biologic mechanism at work, says Laura Carstensen, the center's director.

"What's the mechanism at work here? Feeling upbeat about your life means you experience less stress, which in turn affects cortisol levels, which can affect health," she says. Stanford researchers periodically assess 19 different emotions in subjects randomly polled over 1 week at 5-year intervals. Having more positive emotions than negative ones is associated with living longer.

Carstensen is a firm believer that while "slow agers" clearly exist, there's more to their stories than lucky genes. "There's mounting evidence that genes play a role in longevity, but genes play a role in almost everything," she says. "They don't express themselves in vacuums -- there are very complex interactions between genes and lifestyle." So all that advice on how to live to 100? Can't hurt to heed it.

Start Your Day Off on the Right Foot

According to a recent study at the Fisher College of Business at Ohio State University, if an employee is in a bad mood when they arrive at work-whether because of familial problems or a stressful commute-it can decrease their productivity by as much as 10% that day.

So unless you come in to the office every day in a great mood (and who does?), start your day with 5 to 10 minutes of time dedicated to decompressing. "Create a ritual. Maybe it's meeting in the coffee break room or going around the office to greet everyone. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you foster a sense of connection [with your coworkers]," Says Holhbaum.

"Swinging by to say 'hi' to your colleagues when you walk in gives you a sense of focus. When you feel you're part of a bigger effort, you feel more connected to why you're there and that can make all the difference in the world." Re-focusing your mind at the beginning of the day will also create a sense of calm, helping you to disregard outside stressors and zero in on your daily tasks.

"If we're actually able to start the day centered, then we'll have a longer tolerance period before we get off track," Holhbaum says.

More Americans are Members of Facebook than Have Passports

A staggering 155 million Americans - 50 per cent of the population - are on the social network, while only 115 million people - 37 per cent - have a passport.

The number of U.S. citizens applying for passports has been rising over the last decade, but the proportion of people with the travel documents is still dwarfed by other countries.

Some 71 per cent of the population in the UK has a passport. But the U.S. is still way ahead of China, where only 1.5 per cent of the population can travel abroad.

Facebook, which was started by Mark Zuckerberg while he was a student at Harvard, has experienced phenomenal growth since it was launched in February 2004. There are now 750 million Facebook users worldwide, according to travel website Tripl, which compiled the figures.

Reasons given for the low proportion of Americans with passports include the costs of travelling abroad and the popularity of vacationing at home. Simon Winchester, who wrote 'The Best American Travel Writing', said that Americans to do have a history of international travel.

First Photos of Beckhams' Baby Girl Harper Seven

David Beckham posted a photo on his Facebook page showingwife Victoria getting some rest with their newborn daughter. "I took this picture of my two girls sleeping," he wrote.

Victoria, 37, also tweeted a picture Sunday of David, 36, tenderly holding their newborn daughter. In the black and white photo, David cradles Harper Seven and sweetly touches her nose with his. She's "Daddy's little girl," Victoria explained.

Harper Seven was born July 10 at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. David and Victoria also have three sons: Brooklyn, 12, Romeo, 8, and Cruz, 6.

On Thursday, the fashion designer tweeted that "baby Harper is the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen. I have fallen in love all over again!" "We feel so blessed," she added. "And the boys love their baby sister so much."

Study: Van Gogh's "self-portrait" actually his brother

Art researchers at Amsterdam's Van Gogh Museum said they have "discovered" a work by Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh - long thought to have been a self-portrait -- was in fact a picture of his younger brother Theo.

"According to current opinion, Vincent van Gogh never painted his brother Theo, on whom he was dependent," the Van Gogh Museum said in a statement.

But senior researcher Louis van Tilborgh now believed the 1887 painting of a man wearing a light-coloured hat and a dark blue jacket was in fact Van Gogh's brother Theo, Vincent's junior by five years.

"The conclusion is based on a number of obvious differences between the two brothers," said the museum, pointing out dissimilar features including the neatness of the subject's beard and his round-shaped ear, "something Vincent did not have."

"The form and colour of Theo's beard, more ochre than red, is also an indication" as well as the man's "eye-colour and the style in which he was dressed supports the new insight," the museum said.

"The portrait matches pictures of Theo," Van Tilborgh told the Dutch news agency ANP.

Theo van Gogh died six months after his older brother shot himself in a wheatfield at the age of 37 in Auvers, France, in July 1890.